August 20, 2024 [Orlando]
More of this.
Me…us…We…moving too quickly or too slowly to the temperature of whatever room we are supposed to be taking up. Creating charge and feedback loops of energy in our own minds when struck with a certain part of my own perception. Dictating precisely even on days when the overall connections are short-circuiting because of the constant inflow of information. Watching precisely those situations continue to unfold around me and synchronize in ways I could not fully explain vocally if I spent hours trying to do so. The usual. It’s Tuesday.
The synchronicity is enough to make one throw up and go mad with deranged intensity. So instead, I find the methods to plug in and out of those signal. They remain ubiquitous and clocked in a present way that suits the temperature for now. Not the other way around. Fine tuning my place in the current so that I either remain unnoticed, or give presence that remains unbeknownst to my continuous reflections, until some cause and effectual takes up space in my mind enough to flow.
No longer being so hasty or too sluggish; instead sitting in a place of resistance. Passing said currents onto another part of the system that even I, now, find myself quietly remaining. A piece on the board. In place to receive signals and know where they go next. The continuous river of charge; Until one moves too quick or the temperature changes the constant once again.
Sometimes, we are not so lucky. Resistors get overcharged, the overall system gets out of synchronization and eventually… It all just stops. While in metaphor, it is easy to see one must simply continue and fix the problems. Humans instead are silly, stupid, stir crazy creatures that never cease to cling to their reasons why something happened, or even ask themselves if they caused it in some sort of purpose to shut things down for even a moment. Searching for rest is the one thing a computer will do automatically when left idol for too long, as long as it is given the directive.
So where is our directive? Why is rest unacceptable? What in the system we have been misplaced in SAYS we have to continue on this way. Saying the turret of organization is beyond our own fascinations is just foolish. Failing to give ourselves even the hope of our own direction is finding the way into a space that perhaps our current will never properly fit. For instance, installing a component in the wrong place and sending it charge; the lack of internal purpose becomes obvious.
It simply just ceases to work after a while.
When you’re finally installed in the correct place, that, too, can be crippling. Especially when you’ve been burnt before. Feeling like a spare part that lives somewhere outside the main functioning pieces and in a pile with the rest for so long can leave you feeling beyond repair.
The difference that we have in perpetuation, is that we have the capacity to heal as well. A far greater tool than simply repairing. We are a whole system- if we stop only functioning on our laurels and the things that only make us the most useful to larger machines that we were never meant to be installed in to begin with.
Always Around 🦇 